like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
