THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Randomize
