i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
