I met the friendliest cop last night
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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