he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
