I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
