I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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