3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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