I hate your face
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
