idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
