He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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