That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
