Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Even my vagina gasped.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
