Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
