You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Randomize
