I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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