hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
