the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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