i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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