We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
