Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
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