At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
