Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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