To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
