He is like the real live version of the state fair..
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
