Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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