Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
