my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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