I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Randomize
