Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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