Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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