The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
