i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
