Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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