Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
did you just send me my own nude
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
