How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
