Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
jump out the window naked night went bad
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
