she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
