I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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