What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
