Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
