I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Randomize
