3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
