apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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