i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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