College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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