how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
