I want to stick my p in your. b.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
