Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
