Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Two words: blizzard sex
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
