Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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